Last night on Mamavation TV, one of my fellow Sistas indicated a rough night with her husband and painful words spoken. A flood of emotions came rushing back to me as I tried to contain the pain I felt for her. I thought I had gotten over the pain I felt from my first marriage. The constant emotional abuse (among other things) led me to a nervous breakdown where I literally couldn’t function for two weeks and instead, moved in with my parents so that they could take care of me and my children while I healed. I had begun to believe that I was all of the hateful things I was told – I was fat, lazy, stupid, self-centered, ugly, an embarrassment…the list can go on and on. I had focused all of my energy on trying to be ‘better’ so that I could make HIM happy and completely lost sight of anything related to me.
Once I had mostly healed, I “met” the man I can’t imagine living without. I put that in quotes because we actually met in school but ran in different circles so didn’t really get to know each other back then (plus I’ve recently been reminded how ‘mean’ I could have been back then by a friend I hadn’t seen in 16 years). We’ve both agreed that was probably for the best because back then, we would have found a way to screw it up and now we truly appreciate what we have.
Every day I am thankful for my husband. The man I’ve chosen to grow old with. The man who makes me smile when I’m taking life too seriously. My husband knows exactly what to say (usually) and knows enough to just hold me when I’m going crazy. He puts up with my idiosyncrasies and loves me for who I am instead of berating me for who I am not.
Our relationship is built on a mutual respect I had never experienced until he came into my life. We treasure each others strengths and support each other’s ‘areas of opportunity’ (I don’t believe in weaknesses everything is an area to improve upon). He knows that I am not Super-Mom and can not do everything on my own while he lounges around watching sports and instead pitches in without being asked. He knows that my plate is overflowing right now and instead of complaining that he feels neglected, he reminds me why I’m doing all of the things I do. He is my rock, my partner and my best friend.
If I were gonna get a little cheesy right now, I’d start quoting musical lyrics that say how I feel better than I can… ok maybe just ONE
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Because you loved me – by Celine Dion
I’m sure he’s cringing right now as he is a complete music snob (I love that about him too) and I’m sure hates that song, but seriously, that’s how I feel. He sees the best in me even when I can’t see it in myself and knows exactly when to say those 4 little words that mean so much to me – “How can I help”
Thanks for being patient as I fumble at an attempt to express this. Support is so important. I’m thankful I have that. I hope you do too! And if you don’t, I hope that you can find the strength to make the changes in your life that are needed. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
And to the wonderful man who makes every day better than the last, there aren’t words to express the depth of emotion I feel for you. I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.
Who and what are you thankful for?